


odds out of two

by nonnin



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Victor stopped calling Yuri 'Yurio' bc they've graduated to a higher tier of friendship, Yuri has a potty mouth bc he does that, Yuuri is the sassmaster, Yuuri's also the emoticon master and he's rubbed off on Victor, friendship shenanigans, the tier I dub "I'm never gonna admit it but you two are totally my dads"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonnin/pseuds/nonnin
Summary: “You two should join the fun too! All you need to know is that you have to issue a dare, set the odds, and then both say a number from one to that set number. If you’ve both said the same number, then the person you dared has to do the thing,” Phichit explained.“That sounds fucking stupid,” Yuri said immediately, but Phichit could see the glint in his eyes.~~~~~Phichit and Yuri are tasked with helping Yuuri realize that yes, he is in fact engaged and very much in love with Victor.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy everyone!! YOI has revived my writing muse omg I have like three other fic ideas lined up but this one was the one that I powered through the fastest lmao
> 
> During lines where there's two people speaking, the person on the left is the one who set the challenge.
> 
> This is unbeta'd, so apologies for any mistakes!! There might be some strange mistakes because I wrote part of this on my phone, so it might have deleted words on its own or autocorrected weirdly lol. You guys rock~ ❤

**phichit+chu:**

> YUUURRRIIII

> is it ok if i come by the 24th?

> jk lmao i dont need to ask permission im coming anyways :P

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> wait what?? but we’re busy practicing….???

 

**phichit+chu:**

> pls lover boy, i see your pics B)))) thats definitely not practicing

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> shush child, you see nothing

> why exactly are you coming??【・ヘ・?】

 

**phichit+chu:**

> what, do i rly need an excuse to see me bestest friend in the whole dang world?

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> well no but

 

**phichit+chu:**

> then its settled~! ill see you around noon time, i guess at the rink since like you know, ur totally practicing or whatever :D

 

~~~~~

 

Yuuri looked up from his phone and sighed. “Victor! Phichit said he’s going to come and visit us on the 24th, is that okay?”

 

Victor poked his head from around the corner, currently doing the dishes. “Sure, but why?”

 

“I have absolutely no idea,” Yuuri said, smile tugging at his lips, “and I also have no idea why I asked for your permission because he is fully committed to making this trip.”

 

“Where’s he going to stay?” Victor said as he sat beside Yuuri on the couch.

 

“I don’t know? He just sprung this on me about,” Yuuri paused, scrolling through his messages, “five minutes ago. Though I have a feeling he’s already got that figured out.” Yuuri grinned, leaning his head against Victor’s shoulder.

 

After the Grand Prix Final in Barcelona, Yuuri had moved in with Victor in Saint Petersburg, citing the convenience of the location as his main reason for moving in. Being with Victor was, to say in the least, the happiest he had ever been in a long time.

 

But for some reason, Yuuri still couldn’t see that he was basically married to Victor. ‘ _He was joking about that! I mean, I don’t think we were really dating to begin with?_ ’ he would say, much to the chagrin of everyone he knew.

 

Especially a certain GPF gold medalist that happened to share the rink with these two idiots _every fucking day_.

 

~~~~~

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> yo

> this is gonna sound ridiculous but i need help

 

**phichit+chu:**

> yuri?? omg wait wat this has to be serious if ur asking _me_ for help??

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> yes now listen up

> i’m reaching my wit’s end dear god mila tried to help but she only made it worse

> you know how katsudon and victor are always eye fucking each other and they don’t want to admit but they totally are?

> yeah i’m getting sick of that shitty ass shit

 

**phichit+chu:**

> lmao r u suggesting we break them up? bc i guarantee that will make it significantly worse

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> oh fuck no i’m not dealing with the aftermath of that even if my life depended on it

> i need your help to drill it into mr oblivious’ head that yes, he’s in a fucking relationship with his idol or whatever, bc clearly they both aren’t on the same page

 

**phichit+chu:**

> ohohohohohohoh okay, icic

> i think i have just the thing, but itll require me to visit. you think i could crash at your place? i wanna at least give the lovely couple their time once they figure stuff out B)

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> whatever it takes to stop them from doing that sick pining thing they do for each other whenever they think no one’s looking _blegghh_

 

~~~~~

 

“YUURI!” Phichit said, waving his arms from the side of the rink. Yuuri skated over to him, pulling him in for a hug.

 

“Phichit! How was the trip?”

 

“It was fine. How are you? Anything fun and new happen recently?” Phichit wiggled his eyebrows. Yuuri chuckled.

 

“I’m great! Just getting some practice in. And also please never wiggle your eyebrows like that ever again.” Yuuri said, covering his face with a hand.

 

“Aww, but my eyebrows are my best asset! Just kidding, I have tons of awesome assets.” Phichit gave Yuuri finger guns as Victor skated over to join them.

 

“Phichit, good to see you. We’re actually thinking of finishing practice early and going to lunch,” Victor said, placing an arm around Yuuri. “Maybe after that we could do a little bit of sightseeing?”

 

“Oh hell yeah! I haven’t been in Saint Petersburg before,” Phichit said. He stopped, looking behind Yuuri and Victor. “Hey, Yuri’s here too? You think he’d want to join?” he asked.

 

“Well let’s find out,” Yuuri answered. “Yuri! Do you want to come join us for lunch? Phichit came to visit by the way!”

 

The blond skater made his way over, small scowl on his face. “Yes, I can see that katsudon. I guess I’ll join, since I have nothing better to do. Anything to get Victor’s gross arm off your even grosser shoulders.”

 

“Great, shall we get going?” Victor said, completely ignoring the insult and already going to the benches to take off his skates. Once they were ready, they made their way to a nearby restaurant, ordering _way_ too much food, but making an exception because they weren’t quite close to competition season.

 

They were down to the final pirozhki, and even though none of them wanted to eat it, they didn’t want it to go to waste either.

 

“Alright, enough arguing! I know how to settle this,” Phichit said. He turned to Yuuri. “Yuuri! Odds out of ten that you have to finish the last one,” he said with a mischievous grin.

 

“What? Why just me? And the odds are way too low!” Yuuri said, shooting Phichit a desperate look.

 

“Fine, fine. Odds out of twenty?”

 

“Okay,” Yuuri sighed, reluctant but determined.

 

“Ready? Three, two, one… ten!” Phichit yelled.

 

“Ten,” Yuuri said at the same time, then paused. “Wait, FUCK.”

 

“Holy crap I didn’t think that trick would work!” Phichit threw his head back, laughing hard. “Now eat up!” he said to Yuuri as the latter groaned and took a bite of the lonely pirozhki.

 

Meanwhile, Victor and Yuri shot each other a ‘ _what the fuck just happened’_ look, much to Phichit’s amusement.

 

“You two should join the fun too! All you need to know is that you have to issue a dare, set the odds, and then both say a number from one to that set number. If you’ve both said the same number, then the person you dared has to do the thing,” Phichit explained.

 

“That sounds fucking stupid,” Yuri said immediately, but Phichit could see the glint in his eyes.

 

“Oh yeah, it totally is. But sometimes you can also set a condition where if you don’t say the same number, _you_ have to do it instead. That only happens for stupidly low odds though,” Phichit said as he pat Yuuri on the back. “This kid used to lose almost every single one of the odds I set for him, and he never got me with one of his either. There was one time where I set it to a thousand, and he lost!”

 

“What was the dare?” Victor asked, interest piqued.

 

“That’s for another day,” Phichit said, winking.

 

“Oh no, you’re not getting out of this that easily. Odds out of 50 that you tell me what your dare was?” Victor challenged, already invested.

 

“Sure Victor, but you’re playing with fire because I reign as the undefeated odds champion.” Phichit grinned. “Three, two, one…”

 

“25.”  “26!”

 

“Ooh, that was a really close one! Looks like I might have found someone who could give me a run for my money,” Phichit said, wiping the imaginary sweat from his forehead. “He’s a keeper, huh Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri choked on his last bite of pirozhki, sputtering out a ‘ _w_ _hat the heck??’_ while Victor doted on him worriedly. Phichit and Yuri looked at each other, understanding passing between them. They knew what had to be done.

 

~~~~~

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> i’m gonna be honest, i actually have no idea what to do with this odds game

 

**phichit+chu:**

> trust me, young padawan. all will be revealed in due time

> if you haven’t noticed, yuuri’s the sassiest motherfucker out there. once he has his hands on shenanigans, you _know_ he’s going to use them when given the opportunity to

> i mean, we’re also here so we can kinda egg him on about it ;DDD we probs shouldn’t push too hard though

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> sassy? you sure we’re talking about the same person?

> ugh, if they become even grosser after they get together i’m going to odds them into never touch in public ever again

 

**phichit+chu:**

> oh yeah. you really haven’t gotten a taste of sassmaster yuuri yet? here, tomorrow i’ll show you ;P

> i have a feeling doing that will make sassmaster yuuri even sassier so i’m gonna give that a hard pass and say no lmaoooo

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> wait, why tf are we even talking like this, you’re literally in the room right next to me

> why can’t we talk like normal people

 

**phichit+chu:**

> even we skaters can have laziness ingrained into us :P

> night yuri, here’s to seeing our hopes and dreams be fulfilled some time in the near future (ง •̀_•́)ง

 

~~~~~

 

“Look, I appreciate that we’re trying to get them to admit their gross feelings for each other, but why the _fuck_ do we need to do it while they’re like this?” Yuri gestured at the said men in front of him. Yuuri was trying on suits while Victor critiqued them, but it was clear to literally everyone else that Victor was using this as an excuse to check Yuuri out. His comments were less than helpful and only served to make Yuuri flush under the constant praise he was giving him.

 

“Partly because I’ll have some sweet pictures for hashtag ‘victuuri’,” Phichit said, snapping a few more pictures with his phone. “I can see it now! ‘ _Coach Victor and his_ _protégé get along well don’t they?'_ and then this picture.” Phichit tapped one where Victor had his arms wrapped around Yuuri, his mouth hovering dangerously close to his ear.

 

“That really doesn’t explain anything. Victor, keep your damn hands off katsudon! We’re in public,” Yuri yelled at Victor, stopping his arm midway down Yuuri’s back. Yuuri squeaked at the sudden noise, embarrassed to be in the position he was in. Undeterred, Victor grabbed Yuuri’s waist, pulling him closer and nuzzling him. Phichit happily snapped more photos while Yuri fumed and Yuuri’s face turned red.

 

“Nope, that’s fucking it! Victor, odds out of twenty you fucking keep your hands off him for the next twenty minutes. We’re out in public, jeez!” Yuri said, pointing an accusatory finger at Victor.

 

“Oh really now? Yura, I never took you for one to gamble,” Victor shot back.

 

“Are you taking it or not?”

 

“Fine. Ready? Three, two, one…”

 

“13!”  “13.”

 

“Nooo,” Victor groaned into Yuuri’s neck.

 

Yuuri gave him a sympathetic pat. “Looks like our luck’s just about the same huh?”

 

“Now get off! Old man, you’re disgusting sometimes,” Yuri said, making a gagging sound as Victor slinked away into a corner to mope.   

 

Thankfully, after twenty minutes Yuuri managed to find a suit that everyone approved of, but not so thankfully, Victor proceeded to throw himself onto Yuuri for the rest of their trip.

 

~~~~~

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> PHICHIT WHAT IS THIS

> _download: image.jpg_

 

**phichit+chu:**

> what? oh that was just something i took yesterday

> no biggie ┐(´∇｀)┌

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> no biggie?????

> PHICHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A PICTURE OF VICTOR ALL OVER ME AND MY FEED IS EXPLODING RN

 

**phichit+chu:**

> oh, so now you admit that he was, in fact, all over you? ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> i can’t believe this betrayal (；￣Д￣)

> i’m so hurt (´; ω ;｀)

 

**phichit+chu:**

> hush lover boy i can’t believe you only found this now??

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> (；￣Д￣)

> (；￣Д￣)

> (；￣Д￣)

> (；￣Д￣)

 

**phichit+chu:**

> omg yuuri stop being such a drama queen im gonna have to turn off notifications >:O

 

~~~~~

 

Yuri raised an eyebrow when Phichit threw his phone haphazardly onto the table. “What the fuck?”

 

“Yuuri’s just being a little shit and avoiding his feelings as always.” Phichit sighed. “I’m also slightly sad that I couldn’t bring on Yuuri’s full sass because Victor was distracting him. But of course when I’m talking to him, he’s sassing me to the fullest! I had to turn off my notifications because he kept spamming me with the same disappointed face.” Phichit clutched his heart dramatically and threw his head back, mock sobbing.

 

Yuri let him ride out his fake upsetness, biting into his toast. “I can’t believe they’re inviting us to another disgusting couple thing again. Why do we need to be there when they choose their ‘favorite pastries’ at a bakery?” Yuri said, making air quotes.

 

“It doesn't matter. Now’s our chance to strike! I think when they do something lovey dovey, we should odds them into confessing or--” Phichit was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. “Huh? Yuuri's calling me. Hello?” Phichit said as he answered his phone.

 

 _“Morning! You guys ready to go? We're outside Yurio’s apartment,”_ Yuuri said.

 

“Yeah, we’ll be down in a sec. See ya!” Phichit hung up and nodded at Yuri.

 

They met with Victor and Yuuri, then headed to a nearby bakery. While the two fussed over different cakes and pastries, Phichit and Yuri plotted. When the former two took to tasting said pastries, they did it in possibly the most _disgustingly_ saccharine way possible: Victor was feeding Yuuri bites of cake and Yuuri was reciprocating by holding pastries up to his face.

 

Yuri made a gagging motion at the two, but they continued, seemingly oblivious that they did in fact have two other people with them who preferred not to watch people feed each other. Phichit, however, was eager to use this opportunity.

 

“Victor! Odds out of 10 that you have to hold a pastry in your mouth and feed it to Yuuri,” Phichit said, grinning wide. Yuuri’s ears turned red.

 

Victor whistled. “Those are some pretty low odds, huh? I'll take it,” Victor said, winking at Yuuri. The poor man was turning redder every second but Phichit just laughed and snapped a quick photo.

 

“Ugh you two are disgusting,” Yuri interrupted. “Ready?, Three, two, one…”

 

“5!” “5.”

 

Victor’s number call came a little later than Phichit’s, but it was the same call nonetheless. Victor sighed with fake exasperation and put a pastry in his mouth.

 

Two strange things happened then.

 

One: Yuuri stopped looking as embarrassed as he did a few seconds ago, expression now replaced with one of sheer amusement and confidence.

 

Two: Yuuri leaned forward _much_ faster than he had to and took the whole pastry into his mouth, smashing his and Victor’s lips together.

 

Victor moaned as Yuuri started to make out with him. Phichit was pretty sure he was going to pass out from the display in front of him, quickly snapping photos before covering Yuri’s ears. The latter was in shock, covering his eyes and yelling “Holy shit there are children here, stop being so fucking disgusting?!”

 

Yuuri pulled away and grinned. “That was yummy! Maybe we should get some of those.”

 

Victor nodded, then turned to the other two. “Sorry we kept you two waiting. Let's go and grab some real food!”

 

Shock still very present on their faces, the younger two nodded numbly and followed Yuuri and Victor.

 

~~~~~

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> what

> the

> fuck

> was

> that?????

 

**v-nikiforov:**

> what was what?

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> you know _exactly_ what was what you old shit!!

> you and your boyfriend are all over each other wtf i thought katsudon was oblivious af

> why tf do i have to help you help him realize he's your boyfriend _if you clearly have that figured out already_

> like it's been a month with no progress and then BOOM suddenly you're making out in public??

 

**v-nikiforov:**

> oh sweet yuri you wouldn't understand ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

> besides he's not my boyfriend so…

> anyways i have to go do yuuri things in bed, good night~

 

**yuri-plisetsky:**

> NO GET BACK HERE OLD MAN

> IT’S LIKE 9 PM IT’S TOO EARLY TO SLEEP AND THATS FUCKING GROSS WORDING

> wait oh shit you're totally fucking with us aren't you. are you both just acting shitty to get back at us???

> VICTOR

> V

> I

> C

> T

> O

> R

> well fuck you too

 

~~~~~

 

“Phichit, we have a problem,” Yuri said when he looked up from his phone. “Victor’s doing that thing he does when he’s up to something but doesn't want to admit it. I think they're fucking with us.”

 

Phichit put his hand up to his chin in thought. “I was beginning to suspect that too, after today. But I think we need to do one last test tomorrow. We’re going to look at some venues for some party they said they were going to hold, right?”

 

Yuri nodded. “That seemed suspicious too. Who the fuck decides to host random parties with all the skaters we know?”

 

“Tomorrow will be our hardest battle yet. I'm gonna go to bed and think about what we can do. Night!” Phichit waved at Yuri and went to bed.

 

The next morning they both somehow missed their alarms and were instead woken up by loud knocking.

 

“Yura, Phichit! Let’s go!” Victor yelled through the door, happily pounding away with his fist. Beside him Yuuri quietly told him to tone it down a bit so the neighbors wouldn't be too bothered by the knocking.

 

Yuri was the first to the door. “Why the _fuck_ are you knocking that loudly?!” He moved aside to let them in as Phichit came out from his room, ready to go. “I’ll be good in a sec, just wait here,” Yuri said, going back into his room.

 

This trip took longer than the other two, since they had to wander around to multiple banquet halls outside of Saint Petersburg, so there wasn’t much room for shenanigans. Yuri and Phichit spent most of it sending messages back and forth, plotting, but to no avail. The other two were completely unaware, contentedly holding hands and enjoying each other’s company while Victor drove them.

 

When they finally made it back to Saint Petersburg for dinner, they were out of ideas. But somehow, the universe was not without kindness, and Victor became the reason for their undoing. At dinner, the older two discussed their favorite of the banquet halls while the younger two watched, dejected.

 

Satisfied, Victor finally said: “If you think we haven't noticed, then you’re sorely mistaken. I'd love to know what you two are trying to plot.” Victor gave them a shit-eating grin.

 

“Indeed, I’d like to know too,” Yuuri chimed in, mirroring Victor’s expression. “Odds out of two that you tell us what you're scheming, but if we don't guess the same number, we’ll tell you what we’re up to?”

 

“Ugh, what even is the point,” Phichit said, defeated. “Alrighty then, three, two, one…”

 

“Two!” They all yelled at the same time. Yuuri and Victor high-fived, looking expectantly at Yuri and Phichit.

 

Yuri rolled his eyes. “First of all, it was Victor’s idea to get me to help him tell you that you're together. I just took the easy way and asked Phichit to help out, but clearly we weren't needed, were we? Second of all, why are we even telling you this if you’ve already figured it out?”

 

“Yura, you did actually help a lot, truly,” Victor said ruffling Yuri’s hair. “Buuuut…” he trailed off, motioning at Yuuri to continue.

 

“It was my idea to completely fuck with you guys,” Yuuri finished, shit-eating grin back with vengeance. “I'm pretty sure everyone knows at this point that we’re gonna get married, for real, except for you two. Plus, we wanted to hear you admit that you’re invested in helping us get together.” He winked and stuck his tongue out, shooting finger guns.

 

“Wait, what??” Phichit and Yuri yelled at the same time.

 

“I wanted to keep it a surprise from the two of you because you're our best men and I knew that, at least for Yuri, if we told you we were bringing you along for your opinions on some of the wedding planning, then you wouldn't want to come along. I'm glad that everyone managed to keep it under wraps, haha!” Yuuri laughed, relishing in the other two’s surprised faces.

 

“Just to clarify, for the past, I don’t know, few days--” Phichit began.

 

“It’s actually been a month now!” Victor piped in.

 

“Okay, for the past _month_ , you two, and what seems to be everyone and their grandma, knew that you were both engaged? And you've been bringing us along to pick the suits, cake, and venue for the wedding? For real?!” Phichit finished incredulously. “How did you even keep it quiet from both of us for so long? _Why did you even do that?!_ ”

 

Yuuri shrugged. “I figured now was a good time to get back at you two for whatever I wanted. What I didn’t expect was for you to come and visit us! I thought we’d have two separate instances of shenanigans happen, but instead we got one. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing both your frustrated faces,” Yuuri said, grinning.

 

“Holy fuck. Phichit, Yuuri isn’t just a sassmaster. He’s a fucking _sadist_!” Yuri exclaimed. “And you,” he said, pointing at Victor, “you enabling, sneaky bastard. ‘Not my boyfriend’ my fucking ass.”

 

“Technically, I wasn’t lying. He’s not my boyfriend; he’s my fiancé~” Victor corrected, pulling Yuuri in for a hug and nuzzling against his side. “My very cute and diabolical fiancé that is,” he said as Yuuri nuzzled him back.

 

“Ew, no thanks.” Yuri scowled, but took out his phone to take a photo. Phichit gave him a thumbs up and took a photo of his own. The perfect blackmail material.

 

~~~~~

 

**v-nikiforov:**

> _download: image1.jpg_

> _download: image2.jpg_

> _download: image3.jpg_

> _download: image4.jpg_

> _download: image5.jpg_

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> !!!!

> victor what the hell where did you get these from?

> is that why phichit and yuri both posted this like two minutes ago???

> _download: image.jpg_

 

**v-nikiforov:**

> mmmm well let’s just say i won the odds this time around ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

> they threatened to cancel out my win D: but it’s okay, we look lovely and it’s our wedding night after all, so we deserve some cute pictures of us on social media :P

> i didn’t think you’d look so adorable in a poodle suit, love

> how did you even skate in that??

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> noooooooo nope no thanks that was a dark time phichit made me

 

**v-nikiforov:**

> do you still have it?

> we could use it tonight, after everyone’s gone home ☆～（ゝ。∂）

 

**katsuki_yuuri:**

> victor!!!（*/∇＼*）

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Hope y'all go out and play this shitty ass odds game with your friends bc like I do this all the time and the results are not as fun as the ones in this fic lmaoooo
> 
> I'm still getting used to formatting stuff, so apologies if anything's weird. Please let me know if there's anything that needs to be fixed or if you enjoyed it! I'd love to hear from you guys ❤❤❤❤
> 
> Please also come yell at me about YOI at nonexistentninja.tumblr.com ;A; I have so many emotions about this dang anime and I can't fucking believe it lol


End file.
